Parenting during the pandemic
I recently experienced a two week period where everything just felt so off and so out of my control. Can you relate?
After 100 days of a countrywide lockdown, I think we’ve all been there. It’s hard. And I think we all need a reminder that it’s ok to not be ok. So what do you do, panic, pivot or re-purpose?
Eddie asked me the other day, "what do you think 2020 will be remembered for in 5 years?". This question has me thinking lately, because "the pandemic" just seems like the most obvious answer but maybe there are other things to consider.
Like most people, I went into panic mode when the countrywide lockdown restrictions were imposed due to the pandemic. Not the kind of panic that led people to panic buy toilet paper, definitely not that one. It was more of an emotional panic state. I was anxious. I had this constant fear that my health and that of my family were in constant danger, which both were true. But I also quickly realized that the constant feed of information from TV news outlets, whatsapp groups, and social media were doing me no good.
I was also about to transition into a new job and new home, both of which should have been a cause for joy and celebration, not panic and anxiety. It took me a while to accept the new reality, but since there was no end in sight, I needed to redirect my focus to the positive things. Simply because...
When you focus on the good, the good gets better.
As a millennial mom, navigating through life as we currently know it has been challenging, however, it has presented many opportunities that I wouldn't otherwise have. This is me counting just some of my small (BIG) wins:
I get to watch my son grow and develop into a toddler.
I get to share more meals with my family.
I get to sneak in playtime with him in between meetings and finally,
I don't spend any time in traffic (I count every small win)
Emotionally and mentally, the pandemic has taken a toll on everybody. I can only imagine the toll it has taken on many families from a financial point of view. It has taken businesses away, jobs, livelihoods, and lives. So the question remains, when we look back at 2020, what will we remember? What part of your life is in your control? Is there an opportunity to pivot and change what 2020 could still mean for you?
To be clear, we don't all need to start a business, or a blog, or get fit. You can pivot emotionally, you can turn your life around by simply redirecting your focus and your energy.
Give yourself permission to stop faking fine and be less than awesome now and then. Then use that to fuel your next move.
This can look very different from person to person. So I will share my experience with you.
I am a self-professed perfectionist. But that has often come in the way of the things that bring me joy. I like to blog, but I also don't think I am great at writing. So the easy solution to this would be to not blog at all.
By redirecting my focus and energy I was able to sort through my emotions and frustrations. As I said before, it's ok to not be ok but it’s also necessary to process why we are not ok.
Some questions to ask:
How did I get here?
Why is it so uncomfortable?
What choices did I make along the way?
Am I absorbing and owning someone else’s junk?
How can I make things better – not a quick fix – but really make it better?
How can I create some space to figure out positive and powerful next steps?
Important to note that growth is uncomfortable but if the growth does not match your emotional well-being then perhaps it is time to reassess. This is something you can do. You have everything you need in you, Sis.
Lastly, it is one thing to be honest with others, but you can also benefit greatly by learning to be totally honest with yourself.